Remember this each day and every step one at a time :-)
In our journeys as addicts sooner or later we come to cross roads. I do believe this for I have lived it myself! My friend Angel Face has come to see that her life is cursed! And it is safe to say that this addiction has been controlling her life for a long time now. She text me and shared with me that this to be true and this is a sign of improvement, as long as she truly understands that it is up to her to start the healing process in her life, just like it is with any other addict!
As I was in Texas last week, I got a text from Angel Face. She text me that, “I am done with the trucker!” this guy has been supplying her with drugs. What I have found out that she has now graduated to heroin! This I found out a while back and it is really not a surprise to me for it is cheaper then the pills.
Back to her texting me, she said,” she was done and felt like her life was cursed!” Well I can’t disagree with that statement. She said “she was back out at the Pike and was trying to hustle up some money the way we use too at the gas pumps.” I knew she was alone and very venerable. It did not set well with me and money was tight at my end but I still told her, “I was coming back to Florida as soon as I can.”
So I booked a flight out of Dallas to Fort Lauderdale. It was a week later but it was the best I could do. I told her, “that I was flying in on the 24th” and she said, “cool I will be here, I can’t wait to see you!”
Well just as I landed I got another text from her and she said, “I am now in Birmingham, Alabama. I could not make it out at the Pike and she listen to some friends about this so called abandoned church up there and that it was like a hotel!” She then text me, “that the place had human waste all over the place and that it was all caving in, my life is cursed and I made another bad discussion! “
First off what kind of friends would do this to her? So we know that they are not, and as I tried to keep in contact with her she ended up letting one of these so called friends of hers phone with no way of me contacting her!!!!! So here I am just waiting on her to contact me some how and when???
So I kept sending text and finally I got one from her so called friend that had the phone they said, “she is not here now and has been gone for a couple of days, I paid her for it until I get my own.” Now think about that one, why would someone do that when they can simply go get their own???
Meanwhile time keeps rolling on, she keeps putting herself in these spots because of her addiction! She has been struggling, I pray every night that she is safe and I do understand that the struggle is part of the journey! So I was sleeping last night and I got a bunch of text messages in. Right away I got up and knew who it was for she is the only one that text me like this. She said,”that she was in contact with the trucker and that they were going to work things out and that they were married!” she then said,” that to please if I was to run into her to not to talk to her for he is a little crazy!” also saying that,”I have to try and work this out for the baby and that he controls that!”
So there was more text an even a few today because she said, “My friend needs the phone I will contact you later.” She never did and always have done this and it really is getting old! It does show a sign of disrespect putting me on the self! My friend if you are reading this you know that this is not right and fine I can handle it no problem, but in reality, which you are not living in nothing more then a lie. That is all what addiction is! When you are truly ready, and I do mean ready I will be there and “NO” I will not be throwing out good money no more! Only a fool parts with his money! I do still love you this is not the first time this has happen put sweetie it is the last!
You cry you are cursed, yes you are, and it is only up to you to stop it know one else. meanwhile your boy needs a mother, think about him. We already know that the trucker boy is a psychopath! He is not a father at all, what kind of father has the boys mother out tricking? He is a crack-head that only wants to control and is unable to love!
I will honor your request! I don’t like it, I find it childish but what the heck this is just another “bad discussion” due to your addiction! This is the very reason why you are cursed, and the cycle will continue until you decide to women-up! I will still continue to work with Angelface Foundation, and help the ones that really are ready, like the two girls that I have done out at the Pike, one was pregnant and now is living back home sober with her child happy and thanking God that I was there. And then there was another one just the other day when I was leaving the Wendy’s on U.S. 1 in Fort Pierce, Florida holder out “hey you, remember me?” I look and at first, I did not recognize her because of the sunglasses she was wearing and the weight she gained. She said, “I remember when I was hungry and you took me to McDonald’s and I notice you were different from the rest out at the Pike.“
She use to call me all the time for a date, I always turned her down and now I am glad. I said to her, “the reason why I turned you down was because I find it to really unmanly to take advantage of a young lady that is so dependent on drugs, I found it to be that way when I was just sixteen years old and I surly find it to be just as repulsive today! This is why I do what I do. Whether in the field at the Pike or writing here on this blog!
Like I said I will honor your request but it will not stop me from my beliefs and mission! I will still go out to the Pike and visit other addicts and help them with food or shelter, just like I did with Peanut and Outlaw! If the Psychopath threatens me again I will make my stand and defend myself, you can take that to the bank! I do not fear such of a joke and he will not get in my way from doing good for others! You made your choice once again and I can tell you now that yes, their is either rewards or consequence’s! I do believe you made the latter another bad discussion! This is all because you will not allow your mind any chance at all to make the right choices, just like many addicts. I do pray that you do not end up like Donna!
To all my readers I do apologize if I come across a little harsh, this has been building for sometime just like many has with family and love ones that are cursed with this disease! It really is up to the individual to stop and when they are ready to. I have not abandoned my friend she still has a spot in my heart. I am trying to make the step towards not enabling her no more! Please pray for both her and myself thank you, as always your comments are welcome just click on the link above.
God bless you in your journey :-)