If an addict is to have any chance at all for recovery, they must first admit they have lost control in their life and then they must learn how to conquer themselves. Forget about your past or anyone else, it is you and you only that will decide and do the battle towards your freedom!
Stop complicating your recovery, this is part of the cycle, it is no one else fault, realize this simple fact and you can move on building and define your life living it to its full purpose. At first sure it may seem like all is lost and that you are not worthy, this too is also part of the mental battle in conquering for total success which in fact is a journey.
So my friend enjoy your journey and go with Gods Peace and Grace 🙂