I have been busy on other projects here lately and this is why I have not posted much and to my readers I do apologize. Now today it is snowing out and I am stuck here in the house you can say!
I will share with you guys some of my own personal history and my journey with drugs today.
After all this is why I did created Angel Face Foundation for.
I was born and raise in South Florida, back when I was a kid we had it made, we had all the land and beaches we wanted to roam and do want ever we wanted to do. I do feel for the kids today with the land being over developed along with all the laws and rules of today’s society.
Now back to me, I had a great life while I was younger when my family was still together. Our Christmas was like a fairy tell while my parents were still together. Just like most families that split up, ours was no different. I went from a A B student in a private school to a D F student in the government schools.
I started to skip school and hang out with others that has similar issues. For all I ever did want was my family back together again. I remember the very first time I tried to smoke a cigarette, after all it was so cool and grown up if you were smoking! I got so sick it was a blessing and I never did have any craving again to have one in my life time.
Well you see that was a blessing, but I still needed to fit in, you know be cool with the rest of the gang. So I then was introduced to marijuana for the first time. I was so what hesitated but still the emotional need to fit in over came my earlier lesson with cigarettes! I tried it and I found that it was different then the cigarettes and not even sure that I really got high the first time, all that matter was I was cool and fitted in.
Meanwhile all this going on I was living with my mother or father of my choice, that’s right I played them. Which ever one that would allow me to get away with the most and have my fun that is where I would live.
Will that only worked for a while, after my mom when through some bad men she met this one guy that was younger than her and she ran of with him to California living out of a tent when they got there. So I could the no longer play the flip-flop game between my parents.
While all along this was going on I was indulging more into the pot and beer and then I eventually graduated into other drugs like mescaline window pane acid and of course mushrooms! We would stay up all night long tripping our asses of jumping of the top of the apartment were we were living at, which was five stories high into the pool below! Looking back now some thirty plus years, it is amazing nobody got killed from some of our actions, or was it?
You see everything was such a rush for us, it was that dopamine rushing our neurotransmitter of our brains that kept us coming back wanting more from my other words dreadful life. So meanwhile I was failing, my father was killing himself just to keep a roof over our heads. Not to mention I would go into his wallet and take money from him, I use to break into people’s homes to steal from them, looking back now I was not a good kid at all.
Well one day at my school one of my friends that I did hang out with got shot into the head and was killed. I did not want to go to school any longer, at this point anyway I was an outsider and did not really fit in any way. So I just started to skip school all together and hang with my friends. Once my father found out about what I was doing by skipping school he told me, “if you are not going to go to school then you got to go to work, and if you don’t want to do that then you got to get the hell out of my house!” Now I was only 16 years old at the time and I thought I knew it all or at least enough to make it on my own so off I went.
For all you that believe about tough love well I can say this as far as for myself, I thank God my father used it on me, not saying that it is for everyone now for I believe it’s should only be used on people who are strong enough to use it on.
So with my father approach as to handle me was a gamble, it did pay off but want I had to go through was not for everyone that is suffering with this disease I hope and pray. I later met this older man in the neighborhood, he took me in as a father so I accept it and was happy for a while. He was rugged outdoors man kind of guy and something I like.
Well after some time with him I got deeper into other drugs I guess you can say he introduce them to me. Cocaine and THC Quaalude you name it I was doing it all back in the late seventies seems like it was never going to end. But it did and I’m glad it did.
Well I use to go out to the bars with the “Old Man” that is what everybody called him back then. He was known through out the county and people would flock on over to buy the drugs from him and I was his little errand boy for him.
Now this again was such a rush and seem like living life to the fullest but something at sometimes did not settle with me at all. You see the “Old Man” loved (if you call it that) women, and the younger the better. These young ladies were addicts and need some how to get what they thought they need, so the “Old Man” of course exploded this for his own selfish agenda.
He must have been in his mid forties at least and like I said I was just sixteen going on seventeen. These young ladies were even younger than me. And one of them had long black hair and was very gorgeous model if she was not addicted to them drugs which was mostly cocaine and yes she did boot it also. My friend today Angel Face, reminds me of her she is a ghost of this young lady in every aspect in her life.
One night the “Old Man” was having sex with her and when he was done he wanted me to have sex with her also, I guess he felt he was trying to make a man out of me. Well I refuse and he would just make fun of me and this is why maybe to this very day I strongly recent men exploiting women that have addictions.
Still over thirty years later it eats at my spirit when my friend Angel Face was going through her demons and battling them allowing older men to dangle pills in front of her like a carrot on a stick.
This is me and how I feel about addiction, I fucking hate it!!!!!! I hate want it does to our friend and families our communities.
I’m going to stop for now it is getting to me too much, but want did happen with the “Old Man” he was arrested for sales, but I also did too, which in the long run turn out to be a blessing for many!