In this journey called life we all have our ups and downs, for some more downs then ups. This is usually the way with addicts. They or shall I say that for some time I seem to be stuck in a rut and everyone that I have trusted seem one way or another has either abandoned me or have let me down.
What I have learn is that this is all part of the course and need to finally come to understand that we are really in this life and this battle by our-self’s! Yes we can have people in our life but don’t expect too much from them. Because if you do you are only setting yourself up for a big let down, it is not a matter of if, it is just simply a matter of when.
I have learn this lesson when I was young and now years later I have come to relive it all over again through my friend Angel Face. At the time I tried all I could to help her but looking back now it seems like it was all in vain? I open both my heart and wallet up for her so she would not have to go out and sell herself for her addiction. It started out at first her asking me; “Robert can I borrow $40.00 from you?” I would reply, “No, it’s a gift for I don’t want you to go out and do want you have to pay me back!”
She did not have to do anything but stay away from the truckers and other pimps and johns that wanted to use her that’s all I ask. Well I am not a rich man so that only went so far, I do though have an investment that I did share with her and I did this because I wanted to give her some hope. I ask her “what would it take to get you off the streets,” and she said to me, “money.”
Well that is when I told her that I wanted to take her off the streets and provide for her, I even one day took her to the bank to share with her that this investment was for real. It is but you see I have no control when this will manifest. She needed it now, she could not wait and she even got upset with the fact that I kept bring it up she said, “Robert, stop it.”
So I guess I have let her down because of this? Or is this just the way the journey is to go for her and myself? The way I do look at this even today see is gone, that I was at least trying to build some kind of hope for her and to let her know that at least I cared for her and just wanted her to be able to empower her so see would not have to ever rely on someone else again.
This was a much bigger task then I thought at the time. You see her disease that she is dealing with that is if she wishes? Wont go away anytime at all until she confronts this head on, and once she does this then and only then she can start to build her life and empower her self!
At this point I have no contact with her, all what I can do for now is pray for my friend and this is the prayer I say for her click here!