It is 12:13 in the morning here in Texas and can’t get to sleep. I have been thinking about my friend Angel Face. So I thought I would take the time to share with my readers about what I was thinking about.
This was two summers ago, I was sleeping under the stars out at the Pike. My friend Tom from Texas help me out with some money so I could flush out my gallbladder. And in order to do this I needed to be in a room lying on my side as the flush work on me. So he did wire me a few hundred dollars to do this. So I did run into my friend out at the pike and next thing you know we were sharing a room at the Best Western in Fort Pierce Florida.
If you don’t already know my friend Angel Face is an addict. I never judge her for it and I never will. I also have had my own share with drug abuse in my pass and I always thought that maybe at least I understood her and would not be so harsh on her like most of society is. You know she is no good and she is a lair and she is a thief so on and so on!
I find with this kind of approach the addict will never have a chance for recovery if everyone in their life is always putting them down. I have always tried to have a motto, if you are looking down on someone, at least give them a hand to lift them up.
Now back to the story, my friend was going through a very tough part in her journey then. Lets just say she was doing things she really should not of and that I never still to this day condone! This is why I started Angel Face Foundation to spare young ladies as my friend from this if I can help pull them up. Being with her I was always on a natural high myself, you see I love her and I was stupidly high on it!
She was very kind heart-ed and a beautiful given spirit. She went out and later on that night she brought back company from out there at the Pike. Yeah they were other addicts and I knew them and really did not mind as long as we can keep it down and not get thrown out.
There was things on my mind that did bother me because I did not see it to be right but I still kept my mouth shut for I did not what to fight with her. Well I was taking a taxi with her so we can go get want at least what she felt she needed? So money was running out and she was stressing out about her ex boyfriend, her man I guess you can say? She still loved him and never question it for I knew that was just her nature to love.
We had a unique relationship, we both had spouses that were abusive, mine was just mental while hers was both. And even though mine was this way with me I still to this day love her so therefore I did understand my friend’s position. At this time her old man was in jail for beating and stealing money along her cloths from her. This was a way for him to control her.
So money started to wide down and get tight and stress started to build in her, I saw this and of course as she was strolling the halls of the hotel she ran into this guy. And this was not a good guy at all, he was a crack dealer and also printing money in his room there at the hotel.
She was on the phone in the room and I heard her talking to him, he was convincing her to come to his room and he would make arrangements to supply her with crack. This bothered me and I was pacing back and forth. One of the other girls that was staying there at the time was trying to calm me down. She saw how I felt about my friend and still to this day she knows I still care.
So I was going to go down into the gym so I can get rid of some stress myself. Then she saw me out in the hall and thought I was there causing problems for her for this guys room was right by the elevator. Well we started to fight out in the hall then it did end there because I went down to the gym to blow it off. Well later on when I came back she had her crack and we started to argue again, she was screaming at me saying; “you are not my old man!” No if I was I would not even allow that guy to live! That is how strong I did felt about it and still do to this day!
So needless to say, I could have thrown her out for the room was in my name but I decided to let her stay because I did not want her out on the streets. As time went on she did meet-up with me behind the BP truck-stop.
There is a table back there for people to sit and eat or drink while they are there. She did come up and said she was sorry and I was talking with her with sadness in my eyes. She look at me and said; “Robert, it is just you are so unstable now.” Wow at that moment I knew I have lost respect with her. You see, she use to look up to me but because I was always worried and focusing on her I have lost myself and my role as a provider for myself. If I can’t provide for myself, how in the hell can I ever help her?