Betrayal and relapse…..

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As I sit here and write this to my readers I must confess that I have considered going out and just get drunk or high! Sometimes you fall for that lie of denial that some how or some way it will be alright to give in!

As I sit here comparing my life and what is going on in it and with years expereances I do understand and have the vision that God has given me the strength to deal with the betrayals that is currently going on with me.

And one of the issues that I do see in my life is that were all the issues are coming from is, addiction!  This journey of mine sure has push the limits on me and is really testing me now or maybe that is just how I feel? I have been having trust issues now for sometime in my marriage and I am seriously thinking about calling it quits!

I some how and some way have kept finding the way to hang in there, or so I tought I have until just recently discovering events that do disturb me and have no real control over. At least I have come to learn what I can and can not control in my life so that is an accomplishment in itself!

Writting is a form of therapy for me and I would like to take the time for all the readers for visiting and giving me their support! Saying that down below is a poem for now maybe will be a song later with a little more tought on it that last night laying in bed sleepless putting my thoughts on paper.

Betrayal

Betrayal sitting here by myself

late at night wondering if

it really me that failed?

Is this a bad dream or is it real?

I am so numb now I really don’t

even know how I feel?

Betrayal I have often felt your sting,

by family, friends and wife,

even later on in this journey and life.

For us is it the end of the trail?

Life is long and hard,

lessons learn while

dealing me my cards.

I have been knock down,

I get up and smile to say,

you hit like a bitch

as I stand my ground.

 

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We are here to share our experience with drug addiction how it affects both the addict and their families along with their friends. Bringing awareness about the war on drugs an how it has failed in many ways. You are welcome to comment even if you might disagree with the post, we here are a free speech zone. We will post it as long it's constructive towards solutions rather then being to harsh and judgmental causing it to be part of the problem. If you want to learn more about Angel Face Foundation you can click here! Thank you :-)

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Posted in Awareness, Recovery
2 comments on “Betrayal and relapse…..
  1. Hang in there. I don’t have any words of advice for you, I wish I did. But please know I’m rooting for you and for all those who are fighting addiction. You deserve freedom. Don’t let it win.

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    • Thank you for your kind words and support, personally I have been sober now for over a year without any substance which at that time was marijuana. I know a lot of people might not look at marijuana as a habit and a natural plant which it is but if you allow it to control you then it is still addiction. And then there is alcohol which I don’t really allow that to control me no more either. Going through this change in life does truly test me on how I can control my discussions and I can proudly say I have not crawled up into a bottle over my personal problems. I have goals and a passion for life and it is a new day. Thank you for visiting and Peace and Gods Speed towards your journey 🙂

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April 2014
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