As I sit here and write this to my readers I must confess that I have considered going out and just get drunk or high! Sometimes you fall for that lie of denial that some how or some way it will be alright to give in!
As I sit here comparing my life and what is going on in it and with years expereances I do understand and have the vision that God has given me the strength to deal with the betrayals that is currently going on with me.
And one of the issues that I do see in my life is that were all the issues are coming from is, addiction! This journey of mine sure has push the limits on me and is really testing me now or maybe that is just how I feel? I have been having trust issues now for sometime in my marriage and I am seriously thinking about calling it quits!
I some how and some way have kept finding the way to hang in there, or so I tought I have until just recently discovering events that do disturb me and have no real control over. At least I have come to learn what I can and can not control in my life so that is an accomplishment in itself!
Writting is a form of therapy for me and I would like to take the time for all the readers for visiting and giving me their support! Saying that down below is a poem for now maybe will be a song later with a little more tought on it that last night laying in bed sleepless putting my thoughts on paper.
Betrayal sitting here by myself
late at night wondering if
it really me that failed?
Is this a bad dream or is it real?
I am so numb now I really don’t
even know how I feel?
Betrayal I have often felt your sting,
by family, friends and wife,
even later on in this journey and life.
For us is it the end of the trail?
Life is long and hard,
lessons learn while
dealing me my cards.
I have been knock down,
I get up and smile to say,
you hit like a bitch
as I stand my ground.