Self Forgiveness: An Important Step in Rehab and Recovery

self-forgiveness-silhouetteBecause of the predominance of 12 Steps Programs, much in rehab and recovery revolves around remorse, contrition, self-condemnation, guilt and regret. You are taught that to successfully recover you must present yourself to others as contrite, guilty and remorseful; you are taught that you require the forgiveness of others to be whole. We think there is a better way: self forgiveness as a core step in the treatment process to recovery.

Forgiveness: Most of Us Need to Forget What We’ve Learned

We have a different take on forgiveness vs. traditional rehab and recovery programs, but this approach takes some ‘unlearning’ to grasp. Forgiveness is a highly misunderstood term and concept, and because of this it is a justifiable obstacle for many. Learning about and applying forgiveness in an enlightened manner is key to releasing the constraints of many mental illnesses and addictions. But misunderstanding forgiveness can be a confusing, irritating and unnecessary obstacle.

Most people misunderstand the concept of forgiveness. They think that if they withhold their forgiveness of another that they are exerting power over that person. The belief is that if one forgives, the issue or behavior becomes ‘okay.’ This could not be further from the truth in our view. When one withholds forgiveness they are actually doing nothing to the other person and only hurting themselves by holding onto the anger, hurt and resentment they feel, quite literally, giving their power away.

Forgiveness (release) is freedom for the person DOING the forgiveness, not for the one receiving it. It’s reclaiming your power.

If you were raised to believe that God is constantly in judgment of you and always waiting for you to ask for forgiveness, you aren’t alone. But can we consider for a moment that the true state of God is unconditional love? ‘God is love.’ How many times have you heard that? God as unconditional love would by definition be incapable of judgment. The operative word is unconditional. Love no matter what. This is where the ‘unlearning’ comes in.

Would you be willing to consider the possibility that the judgments under which you suffer don’t come from God? Judgments are a creation of the human mind. They are, in fact, self-imposed and impossibly burdensome. They give us a confusing experience of power or the lack of power.

The Liberating Power of Self Forgiveness

Self Forgiveness is the process by which we release ourselves for judgments we’ve placed against ourselves. When we accept that we are the one holding the judgment, we become aware that we can be the only one to release it. At The Clearing, self forgiveness is a foundational step for successful rehab and recovery. Self forgiveness is also the core step of personal responsibility. Nothing, simply nothing is more liberating in the journey of self-growth.

Your personality can have bad behavior, your Soul cannot. This is an absolutely critical distinction. We’ll help you gain an understanding of the difference between your soul and your personality. We work closely with you to uncover and explore the core issue causing undesirable behavior and assist you in reframing your misinterpretation of this issue to reveal its positive purpose in your life. This learning is transformational and will support you for the rest of your life.

The solution is simple: your behavior towards yourself and others must come from an authentic place. As you develop an authentic relationship with yourself, it will naturally spread outwards to all those you encounter. Life becomes, without exception, easier on every level. Will difficult situations continue to arise in your life? Certainly! Frank evaluation of your behavior, self forgiveness, taking personal responsibility and setting a clear and positive intention to do better will serve your highest good. We’ll show you how.


About The Clearing

The Clearing is a residential treatment center located on beautiful San Juan Island, Washington. We created The Clearing in response to the pervasiveness of treatment centers that focus more on luxury than modern, evidence-based therapy.

Our approach is based on healing the underlying core issues that cause addiction. If you’d like to learn more, contact us.



We are here to share our experience with drug addiction how it affects both the addict and their families along with their friends. Bringing awareness about the war on drugs an how it has failed in many ways. You are welcome to comment even if you might disagree with the post, we here are a free speech zone. We will post it as long it's constructive towards solutions rather then being to harsh and judgmental causing it to be part of the problem. If you want to learn more about Angel Face Foundation you can click here! Thank you :-)

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June 2016
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Robert Christopher Mergupis


Robert Christopher Mergupis

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